[Photo: Bauer-Griffin]

I have tried to stay away from commenting on the alleged abuse of Rihanna by her boyfriend Chris Brown, but I find that I just must speak up. As someone who has done years of volunteer work for a non-profit that helps the victims of domestic violence, I had to get a lot of training and information about the subject in order to understand it properly. It’s not as easy as everyone thinks it is.

Just because he might have beaten her only once and then probably apologized profusely, that doesn’t mean that he won’t do it again. In fact, the chances are nearly 100% that it will indeed happen again…and again. And domestic violence (DV) usually only gets worse each time. It tends to begin with emotional abuse and control, so that once it gets to the point of physical violence, the victim is often emotionally controlled by the abuser. They really want to believe the apologies and they have been made to feel dependent upon the abuser so that it becomes emotionally difficult to disentangle themselves from the relationship.

Because of the control the person has over the victim psychologically, they often feel they need to stay with them, in spite of the abuse. It’s hard to understand if you’ve never been through it. But ask anyone you know who has been in an abusive relationship and they will tell you that it’s not easy to get out of it.

The reason I wanted to write this post today was to let people know that they should not be angry at Rihanna, nor should they think that just because she went back to him that he is not necessarily guilty of the alleged abuse. She is probably dealing with the emotional control that an abuser has over his victim. She may have never been in a situation like this before so she wants to continue to make the relationship work. It’s not her fault. It’s just not.

And, sadly, studies seem to indicate that abusers are not that easy to change. The abusive behavior is one of the most difficult behaviors to change and they have to want to change. At Chris Brown’s age, if he is guilty, he probably doesn’t yet feel the need to change. Sadly, it could take years and many other similar relationships before he might realize his own problem, if he ever does…if the allegations are true.

I don’t want to assume that he is guilty, because that’s what the courts are for. But the photos of Rihanna are compelling, to say the least. Whatever happened to her, she did not deserve and she should not have to ever endure it again. No one deserves to be abused. No one. Period.

Ok, that’s my two cents about Rihanna & Chris Brown. But now on to the even more important part. If there is anyone out there reading this who is in an abusive relationship, or who knows someone in one, please…PLEASE ask for some help. There are many systems in place nowadays to help DV victims get to safety. But first, someone needs to ask for help.

There’s a DV hotline that rings through to the local area of the caller and gets the person calling in touch with someone local who can help them. Maybe what they need is to talk about it. Maybe what they need is a plan or the knowledge that there is help or a place to go. Whatever the need, there is someone there to help:

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

In fact, I hope this post finds you happy about today’s inauguration of President Barack Obama.

[Photo: Kevin Mazur/Courtesy of HBO via image.net ]

This is an image of then President-Elect Barack Obama speaking during the HBO program entitled We Are One. The entire event was filmed on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC. It’s a truly inspiring program. If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check your HBO listings for air times in your area.

No matter your political party affiliation, I hope that the promise of new ideas, fresh attitudes and a new sense of urgency in our leaders is inspiring to you. My hope is that the spirit of change is a good one for us all.

It was so appropriate that yesterday was the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr., since the change he started back in the 1960s was a big part of why President Obama even could become president today. Now, instead of looking back, we can all begin to look forward to a brighter future. I’m more proud of America today than I ever have been.

Tonight, we ring in the new year and say goodbye to 2008. And this is my wish for a safe, happy and prosperous New Year, for you and your loved ones!

[Image; stock xchng]

Fans of the Seinfeld show know that today, December 23rd is officially Festivus. It’s the holiday for the “rest of us”.

So I thought it was appropriate to post my holiday wishes for all of you on this Festivus day.

[Image: stock xchng]

No matter the holidays that you personally celebrate, I wish you the best ever. So, Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Winter Solstice, Wonderful Ramadan and Happy Hanukkah!

May you have the most prosperous, happy and fulfilling 2009 too!

Readers here in the US are already aware of the unusually difficult times our country is going through and that we need to elect a new leader who will see us safely through them.

[Original image: StockXchg]

Whatever your political leaning, it’s your privilege and your duty to go vote.

I have the sad job of reporting to you that two entertainment legends have both died, and at relatively early ages.

First, the Oscar & Grammy winning Isaac Hayes has died. He was well known for his 70s theme song for the movie Shaft, but he was responsible for the beginning of what came to be known as soul music, his work has been said to have laid the groundwork for disco and rap music, he was in a number of movies and even played the role of Chef on South Park.

At only 65 years old, he passed away in his home next to his running treadmill and was found when his wife and young son came home from grocery shopping. What a great loss.

And secondly, comic actor Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, or as he’s best known, Bernie Mac died of complications from pneumonia. He was only 50 years old when he passed. He starred in films such as Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, Oceans Eleven, Bad Santa and Transformers. He also had his own hit TV show The Bernie Mac Show. He was reportedly a truly gracious and amazing person and he will truly be missed by many.

My condolences go out to both men’s friends and families.

One of my contacts with MTV’s hit dance show America’s Best Dance Crew sent me the info about these performance videos from the season 2 casting special. Watch them, and if you haven’t ever seen the show, you’ll know why you need to tune in. Here’s the Xtreme Dance Force:

And here’s Supreme Soul:

Be sure to watch America’s Best Dance Crew 2 on MTV, Thursdays at 10pm ET/PT. And be sure to go to my other blog, Dance Watcher for full coverage of the season!

The purpose of this 24-hour Blog-a-thon is to bring in support for the Actors’ Fund. You can help by making a donation here.

Reality TV, TV, Television, mario lopez, dance, dancing, Shane Sparks, America’s Best Dance Crew, dance crew, randy jackson, Lil Mama, JC Chasez

Check out these highlights from episode seven of Celebracadabra, watch as Hal Sparks and C. Thomas Howell battle it out for the final challenge, appearing at the Steve Wyrick Theater in Las Vegas!

Hal and Tommy go on the major offensive, tossing verbal attacks in their interviews. They won’t become friends now.

Watch as the boys arrive at the Steve Wyrick Theater, and find out how difficult their challenges are going to be. Jonathan Leavit appears in style, and Hal and Tommy learn that their shows must include two grand illusions. The stage is definitely set up for very large productions, and their challenge is daunting.

Read more

Check out this video of Chris “Kid” Reid trying to capture an audience for his magic show.

In the next clip we watch as Chris “Kid” Reid and Derek share their final thoughts and say goodbye. What do you think of Kid being cut this week? Did he deserve to be eliminated?

Read more

In this video clip, Danny and Marki share some insightful tips into the Hollywood business, and the do’s and don’ts.

video.vh1.com