Rock of Love Bus: Get Ready for Round Three

In the season premiere of Rock of Love Bus, Bret met up with the women vying for his heart in Louisville, Kentucky. They all looked like they were ready for anything, and I do mean, anything.

Bret asked if they were ready to rock each other’s worlds, and the drama began.

These two; Gia on the right, announced that she is into bondage, and Mindy, on the left, said to the camera, “What the blonde bimbo hell have I walked into?”

Hasn’t she seen seasons 1 and 2?

Bret had his own announcement to make about the show: he wants someone to come home to, a lover, a friend, a music-enthusiast, a sympathizer. If it doesn’t work out this time, he’s giving up. And he’ll just be celibate for the rest of his life.

Oh, I’m so sure everyone believes that… *rolls eyes*

Next, Bret told the girls that just like in the first two seasons, he wanted to begin things by taking pictures of them all. So one-by-one, they had their chance to show their “assets” and try to impress him. Here is the newest crop of Bret groupies for this season:

First up is Brittaney, who Bret recognizes from her “movies.” And to prove to Bret that she has more to offer than her porn past, she sings a song for him while he takes the photos.

Melissa is a pole-dancing and Pilates instructor. I’m sure Bret will appreciate her athletic prowess.

Next is “Nikki…Tribe…something.” She announced that her implants were to keep her from doing the graffiti work that had already landed her in jail.

I’m glad they didn’t take cast members from the bottom of the gene pool this time…

She started to sing a song for Bret, and since she didn’t memorize it, she was reading it off a piece of paper. But one thing Nikki forgot to think about was that the other side of the paper had information about STDs.

Great way to make a first impression, Nikki…

Ashley was described by Bret as: “beautiful in a Juliette Lewis kind of way.” And that she is “Natural Born Killers with bigger breasts.”

Yeah, that’s a great endorsement…

Megan is a wild animal trainer, so I suppose she might be a good candidate for Bret.

Constandina is from the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains and has a master’s degree in storytelling. Talk about weird…

Natasha says that she attended boarding school and now has a goal of starting a brothel.

At least she set her goals high, you have to admire that…

Marci didn’t have much to say, even when Bret asked her questions. That’s a great way to win him over.

Stephanie tells us that she enjoys chicken. But that’s the only thing she tells anyone about herself. Yikes!

Kelsey tells us that she’s from Utah and she is proud of the fact that she uses her looks to manipulate others.

Maria is a 40-year-old retired model.

Marcia is from Brazil and seems to love her some Tequila.

Mindy says she is competitive and enjoys proving people wrong. Yeah, that’s a good trait for a romantic partner.

Farrah is gorgeous, but that’s about all we know.

The thing Bret admires about Brittanya is her array of tattoos. Thank goodness he’s not looking for intellect…

Beverly has been to some of Bret’s concerts but she’s never hung out with him backstage. When he asks her why, she explains that it’s because he was with Ambre.

Samantha seemed both innocent and tough as nails. What a contradiction.

Taya told Bret that she is a Penthouse Pet, so Bret encouraged her to show some skin. She decided to show off her ass-ets for the camera.

Then Gia decided to be the first naked girl this season.

After the finish of the photo session, Bret tells the girls that they need to get on either the pink or the blue bus and get ready to hit the road.

Eventually, the two buses bearing the girls arrive at Bret’s show.

But when they all take the stage with him, they seem more interested in showing off their bodies and making out with each other then in Bret’s music. Not a good way to start off…

And Nikki even paid more attention to this guy than to Bret. We’ll see what Bret thinks of that…

After the show, it’s party on…

There’s plenty of drama at the party and when Bret shows up, he is losing his voice. I think I like him better this way.

Melissa does the stupid thing and tells Bret that “everybody’s acting crazy and whorish!”

Hey, this is only the first episode…just wait until things really get going.

Bret didn’t appreciate her basically giving him an ultimatum. (It’s not looking good for her at this point.)

Farrah tells the camera that the three rooms they had access to caused them to divide into three cliques.

Blondtourage:

Almost-Crazies:

They are Blondtourage allies. Go figure.

Finally, there are the Quiet Zombies. Not much fun was being had in this room.

Marcia drinks a lot too much Tequila and runs to the bathroom to throw up.

And then when Bret enters the room, she gives him a vomit-tasting kiss. Yuck!! Way to impress him, girlfriend!

Meanwhile, drama breaks out between the girls. When a drink is poured over someone’s head, the observation by Marcia is not that the girl was covered with beer, but that it was a waste of good alcohol. At least she’s got her priorities straight.

After things got violent and crazy at the party, Bret brought them all together for the elimination ceremony. The girls that were at each other’s throats moments before all look happy and smiling when they had to stand in front of Bret.

In a surprising turn, Bret calls the names of seven girls: Marci, Stephanie, Gia, Heather, Nikki, Brittaney, and Marcia. He tells the remaining 13 that they’re safe and to board the buses.

He only has two passes left for the remaining pool of seven.

He has something specific to say to each one. Heather is too normal for the craziness of this show. Stephanie hasn’t spoken a word so far to Bret. Likewise, Marci hasn’t really interacted with him either. He thinks that Gia is fun. Brittaney is a porn star, but that may not be a bad thing. Marcia is a Brazilian wild woman, and who may be dangerous. Nikki is a hot mess.

Nikki has a breakdown and eventually has to be escorted from the set.

So what do you think of the insanity this season so far? Which girls do you think might actually win Bret’s heart? Which girls do you think are a train wreck, but will make good entertainment? Let us know by leaving a comment.